Would you believe me if I told you that you hold the keys to your joy and happiness? Probably not. How could this possibly be true when someone who cuts you off in traffic, ruining your day. The prior statement couldn’t possibly be right, when you just saw a TV program that made you sad, Or your significant other said something hurtful that lingered with you all day.
The problem is, a lot of us seem to think that happiness is given to us by others, or that someone else is responsible for proving us joy. We rely heavily on outside influences to dictate whether we feel happy or not. We never look to ourselves and realize that happiness comes from within. By trusting and depending on others to give us our joy, we are setting ourselves up for ultimate failure.
Don’t get me wrong, there are people out there who genuinely want to see other people happy, and do their best to bring joy to those around them. But, you must place all you dependence on them to give you happiness for your life.
For Example, if you’re dating someone new, don’t depend on them to make you happy. Ask yourself if you’re happy first. Going into a relationship when you’re unhappy, will only end in you are expecting too much and getting your heart broken. Yes, your partner should make you feel somewhat happy, but they can’t be solely responsible for your overall happiness. They will never be able to give you the exact joy and happiness you want, because it’s your life.
It’s A Conscious Feeling
Being happy has to be more than just a feeling, it has to be a conscious emotion that you must work at everyday. The reason I say this point, is because we are bombarded by negativity at almost every waking hour of the day. from the negative one sided news to the gossip of those around us. Even listening to your car radio may be subjecting you to negative subliminal messages. Try sometime, try listening to the words of one of your favorite songs. You may be surprised that under the awesome beat or sweet tune, is a message of lack, loneliness, failure, or cruelty. If you wish to experience joy and happiness in its true form, you must make a daily effort to block out such negativity. You can exercise happiness by taking a few moments to appreciate the things you have in life and what you’re most grateful for. What puts the biggest smile on your face? What makes you extremely proud? What are you thankful for? Aim to do this a couple of times a week. As you work through answering each question, you will not only encourage positive feelings, but you will also feel less stressed about the things that make you unhappy.
didn’t get the job you wanted, it’s your partner’s fault. No it isn’t. The choices you make and the actions you delivery, is down to you and only you. Claim that responsibility.
Don’t try and complicate what you think happiness is. Happiness can be found in the smallest and simplest of things. If your version of happiness is a 6 bedroom house in L.A, then you might have to revise your expectations and priorities. There is absolutely nothing wrong in aiming high, but you need to make sure you don’t rely on something so materialistic to make you feel happy.
How can I encourage being happy?
You can exercise happiness by taking a few moments to appreciate the things you have in life and what you’re most grateful for. What puts the biggest smile on your face? What makes you extremely proud? What are you thankful for? Aim to do this a couple of times a week. As you work through answering each question, you will not only encourage positive feelings, but you will also feel less stressed about the things that make you unhappy.
Another way to encourage some happiness into your life is to write down all things that make you happy. Small or big, it really doesn’t matter as long as it’s something that puts a great big smile on your face. It could be your favorite TV show, song, funny friend or something that you randomly saw on Facebook! This is a great task that you can carry out daily, writing down all things that made you smile that day.
As well as revisiting old joys, it’s important to discover new things that make you happy. You might be at a point in life, where it’s hard to pick out what makes you happy. Don’t dwell and don’t settle for having nothing to smile about, go search for happiness instead. The moment we go, ” Well this is it. Doom and gloom from here on out!”, is the moment you become a negative person and someone who stops themselves from allowing themselves to be happy. Fight those negative thoughts and take action to encourage positive ones.
I’ll leave you with this beautiful quote…
We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. – Buddha